Beautifully Broken

I may not have had the chance to lose both of my parents to old age, but I know the agony of losing them countless times throughout my life. I've lost them to selfishness, mental illness, addiction, bitterness, stubborness, imprisonment, alcoholism, and eventually death.  I know what it's like as a child to find a note a parent left explaining that the life with you in it was just too hard. I know what it's like to be abandoned, homeless, hungry, and cold. I know what its like as a child for birthdays and Christmas to no longer exist.

At age 11, I had to step into the parental role in our home. Schedules, cleaning, laundry, homework, grocery shopping, hunting for my dad,  and watching over my brothers became my life. My childhood was ripped away from me by the actions of my parents.  Somedays I was able to work for my friends parents to feed us, but many days we just went without. As the years passed the the addictions of my dad became my brothers and the careless mentality of my mother became my own. We also found ourselves homeless, addicts, prisoners, alcoholics, dropouts, and teenage parents.

From that point on our family has remained as it was. I have embraced the joys of life (births of my children, marriage, etc.) all without the support and love of a family. That goes for the hardships in life as well. There isn't a day that passes where I am not dealing with the effects of addiction and abandonment from all those years ago.

I'm not sharing this with you as a bitter way to attack my parents after they have left this world...and left me a mess that I didn't create. It is to offer you hope.

We all have experienced different struggles. Some worse than others but all of great significance. It would be so easy for me to just lay down,give up, and play the victim role. BUT GOD intervened. His grace and mercy transformed me. I didn't have to follow the path that my parents set before me. He set me free from EVERY generational curse, and promised me that I would never have to face another battle alone.

God created a beautiful life from my brokenness ❤